Just James – Week 5

It is already week five in our mission to memorize the book of James in one year. This week we will be memorizing verses 12 and 13. There is still time to join in with us. In fact one of my friends found out just this past week that we were doing this and she jumped right in and caught up with us in one week! Serious kudos!

In our verses for this week, James revisits suffering which is one of the themes of the book. In verse two, James introduced that suffering would produce steadfastness or patience in the life of the believer. In verse 12 he further explains that for those who remain steadfast to the end there awaits “the crown of life”. This is not to be interpreted as a literal crown, but rather that those who in suffering and trials steadfastly persevere by trusting in the grace of God will receive eternal life. Let me clarify so as not to confuse anyone. Simply persevering through trials and suffering does not earn salvation or eternal life for anyone. Scripture is very clear that there is not one single thing we can do to save ourselves. It is by grace alone through faith alone. What the trials instead show us and what verse 12 is making clear is that persevering in trials and suffering is an evidence of who we are in Christ.

There are some who erroneously teach that when you become a Christian that your life will be all sunshine and roses. That is not what Scripture teaches. In fact James is quite clear that all of us will face suffering. He offers exclusions to no one. So if suffering does not earn us Salvation and we cannot avoid it, what purpose does it serve? I’m glad you asked. Suffering is not about us. Suffering is about us drawing closer to God. In trials God teaches us to become less dependent upon ourselves and instead to rely more upon Him. Those who suffer faithfully are drawn in their suffering to a deeper and closer relationship with Christ. It is in the stripping away of our own self-dependency and pride that we recognize and see God for who He is. As we lean further into Christ and become more dependent on Him and what He has done we are further united with Christ in His death and resurrection. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” How do we become pure? By exchanging our sins for His righteousness. What is the end result of us being considered pure? That we will see God face to face. The great promise and blessing given by God to those who follow Him that He will makes His face to shine upon us.

Verse 13 is loaded with tons of theological implications. So if suffering comes from God, does temptation come from God also? James is very clear that the answer is a resounding, “No!” God is holy. He cannot tolerate sin. Therefore, when we are tempted to sin it does not come from God. Next week, we will learn in verse 14 more about where sin comes from.

If there are any questions or if anyone feels like I may have gotten something not quite right, please comment below.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.
(James 1:12-13 ESV)

Happy Anniversary! Plus Two Contests!

It was one year ago this October that Kim and I sat in the rheumatologist’s office as he told us that Kim had severe rheumatoid arthritis (RAD). In almost every way the whirlwind we have been on this last year makes it seem like we have been dealing with this for much longer. Maybe it is partially because Kim has suffered with fibromylagia since 2007 that creates the impression that it has been longer than it actually is. Or maybe it’s simply the myriad of juggling new diagnoses, diseases, and medications that give the feeling that we have been dealing with this for years.

Looking back it is hard to remember all of the doctor’s appointments Kim has been to in the last year. The changes in her medications — adding a new one, taking away another, or increasing and decreasing dosages — seemed to come weekly. Many symptoms came and stayed. Some came and left and haven’t come back. Others come and go without warning and, seemingly, without a reason. Honestly, it would be nice if her RAD would drop us a note a few days prior to a weekend of fatigue hitting her, but so far we haven’t gotten any memos.

Here are a just a few things we have learned in the last year.

• Rheumatoid arthritis is not just an old person’s disease.
• Rheumatoid arthritis affects more than just joints. It is a systemic disease that attacks the whole body.
• That means it can also attack your organs including your heart and your lungs.
• Prior to Kim’s diagnosis we thought the term “rheumatoid arthritis” simply meant a more severe form of osteoarthritis. It doesn’t.
• So far, almost every doctor that Kim has been in contact with through work and personal appointments is tragically uninformed about the realities of rheumatoid arthritis.
• We cannot imagine trying to deal with this past year without prayer and the support of our friends and family.
• Kim’s diagnosis has caused the depth of many of our friendships to increase dramatically.
• We have made many new “friends” through the Rheum community on Twitter. Though we may never meet any of them, many have become very dear friends.
• We cannot imagine trying to deal with this past year without the online Rheum community. Nowhere else can we ask a question and get educated information literally within minutes!
• Nothing means more to us than to hear someone sincerely tell us they are praying for our family. Nothing.
• In the last year, Kim and I have had some very emotional, tear-filled talks about what the future might hold. They have been some of the sweetest moments of conversation in our marriage.
• We still believe that God is in control of every moment of our lives and that He gave the gift of RAD to Kim and our family.
• We believe ultimately that Kim’s RAD will glorify God and that it is for our good.
• There are many days our flesh struggles to be thankful, but God’s faithfulness strengthens us.
• We would love to get rid of the “A” word in rheumatoid arthritis. Our preference would be to call it Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease (RAD).
• Contest number 1!!! You can help raise awareness and win some great prizes while doing so! The Rheumatoid Patient Foundation is having a video contest! If you can’t enter yourself, would you spread the word through Facebook and/or Twitter?!?!

As I close I would like to put out a teaser about contest number 2. Early next week I will be posting the details for our very own giveaway/contest on the blog! I am very excited about what we have planned and look forward to sharing it with you!

The Little Piggy That Bought Roast Beef

So Kim has been fighting the shingles for just over two weeks now. Her rash looks much better and has mostly cleared up. However, the nerve pain and fatigue have continued throughout. She stated Sunday night, “I have concluded that shingles are extremely painful.” This understatement coming from someone who is already in constant pain.

She’s been off her Humira since she was diagnosed with shingles as Humira and shingles don’t play well with each other. We had hoped there would be enough Humira in her system to help with her RAD symptoms until the rash went away and she was able to get back on it — and to a certain extent that may be the case — but her pain in certain joints has increased and her swelling is significant so it looks like that hasn’t held true.

Today she had a scheduled visit with her rheumatologist which came at a great time since the shingles rash seems to be done and we were hoping that he would put her back on the Humira. Turns out that was not going to happen. He wants her to stay off the Humira for at least two more weeks. He also suggested/asked Kim about stopping the Humira altogether and simply staying on her other medications without any biologics. His concern is that Kim could get the shingles again. Yes. We know that. But we also firmly believe that she would be in a wheelchair right now if it wasn’t for the Humira. So no, she will be going back on the Humira as soon as she can. If she gets shingles again, then maybe we will look at switching to another biologic.

Kim also talked with him about the neck and back pain that she has. He said that while “rheumatoid arthritis can affect the spine, it’s rare” and he’s not concerned. Really?!?! So this journal stating that 83% of RAD patients have their cervical spine affected in the first two years must be wrong. Or, maybe a percentage higher than 83% is needed to make it less rare. Or maybe we could look at this article, or this one, or this one which states that the spine is affected in up to 86% of those who are diagnosed with RAD? The frustrating part of this is that the doctor is suppose to know this. We should not have to be the one educating him!

I wish that was all, but it’s not. In our shower we have a tiny stainless steel mesh strainer in the drain to catch hair. The sort of thing that gets all gross, but is functional. Monday morning Kim used her foot to re-position it and in doing so felt one of the little mesh wires poke her toe. Enough for her to notice that it was sharp, but she didn’t notice any blood or a puncture mark so she didn’t think anything of it. Later on in the day she noticed that her toe — the middle one that didn’t stay home or go to the market, but instead bought roast beef — was painful. I looked at if for her when we went to bed, but didn’t see a mark on it. During the night the toe began to hurt to the point where she woke up from the pain. Seriously, moving a wire mesh strainer should not do this. When I got home for lunch on Tuesday the first thing I did was look at her toe. It was red, swollen, and warm to the touch — all indications of infection.

Infection and RAD together are not to be treated lightly. And since at least three of the drugs that Kim takes further weaken her already compromised immune system, it seemed to us that this should be taken seriously. We expected at least antibiotics. Instead, he looked at her toe, stated that it seemed fine, and told her to “keep an eye on it”. Fortunately, her toe looks the same today that it did yesterday, but we are keeping a very close eye on the little piggy with the roast beef.

Honestly, I’m frustrated. I’m upset that her rheumatologist doesn’t seem to take her pain seriously. I’m bothered that I know things about RAD that he doesn’t. I’m irritated that he treats a slightly elevated liver lab test like it’s a stage four cancer diagnosis and poo-poos an obvious infection. But most of all — and I’m being completely transparent — I’m frustrated with myself.

You see I quote the verses and make my statements about how I believe that God is sovereignly in control of everything including Kim’s diseases, yet too often I find myself doubting and questioning what He is doing. The truth is . . . . . this is hard. As I tweeted to a Rheum-mate today, “watching someone with RAD is like watching someone die a death of 1000 cuts.” Yes, I know all of the possibilities of how this could play out, both the good and the bad. I realize that the road ahead will likely not get easier. But even though I know what may come, when something happens to upset my little apple cart of life, I react wrongly. Oh, I may say the right words and paint on the brave face, but inside is a war where I fight God for control. And every single time, I lose. I wondered today as I reflected on my sin why I couldn’t be reminded constantly of His faithfulness in the good times and the bad? Why can’t I live in perpetual surrender to Him? I texted a few friends and asked for prayer. And to one of them I asked why I couldn’t keep the song that is below on constant replay in my head? Maybe some day I will learn to trust His goodness and faithfulness even when it doesn’t look so pleasant.

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
(Matthew 7:11 ESV)

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

Update: Thursday afternoon. Kim’s toe looks much better. It seems at this point like her body was able to fight off the infection.